IMPECCABILITY WITH WORDS, THE FIRST TOLTEC AGREEMENT

The Toltecs are a community with spiritual principles that shape healthy coexistence among individuals. This culture is native to Teotihuacan, Mexico, and Dr. Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec who rescues the ancestral values ​​and concepts of his community; among them the agreements of life with the book: The Four Agreements.

In this case, we will take the first agreement as the thematic axis. The first agreement is central to our reflections on everyday life, since society is overexposed to information, opinions and value judgments. With the above, it is necessary and essential to take the first agreement of Toltec wisdom: impeccability with words.

When we speak of impeccability with words, we speak of a good use of them, that is, a use without sin or stain. In our environment, we see how words are perceived in two ways: words that come from outside and words that are drawn from within. What is problematic is the coalition of these two with the acceptance of unfair judgments that determine the way we structure our discourses or perceive them.

First, it is important to characterize that we are blank canvases without prejudice. However, throughout our childhood we can see how words are used recklessly to denigrate other people, referring to identification problems for those who judge, and so we take these behaviors as a cultural aspect. The Toltecs highlight the determining factor for words to be used in value judgments like gossip, and this is a consequence of the criticisms we have about How should the world be? How should people act? How should others see things? How should I be?

The way we can see things is accompanied by judgments and prejudices. However, these judgments do not belong to the person who replicates them; judgments are responses to the older indoctrination that implants the "normal" chip in us. In other words, as children we are shaped by operant conditioning that, according to behavioral psychology, allows us to educate and shape the baby's behavior through a system of rewards and punishments. The bottom line is that these conditioning create the fear of being scolded or the fear of not being rewarded. A code of conduct is then created that we accept to receive rewards (acceptance) and when we do not meet expectations or challenges, the punishment becomes guilt.

One can speak of physical punishment in babies when the reprimand is exercised by force or also when it is exercised through words that lead to the internalization of traumatic definitions and concepts such as: you are useless, you are an idiot, you are insufficient, etc. All this generates ways of assimilating the outside as a place of danger, where there is a strong fear of failure.

An alternative scenario is the fear of not meeting the expectations you have of yourself. It can configure isolation from those who have unattainable expectations of themselves, or, on the contrary, they can carry hate speeches derived from internal fear. An example of this is destructive criticism of one's physical appearance; in these comments it can be seen that the fear of those who judge is related to the fear of not complying with the rules of beauty in society.

The transit of the words of public opinion (exterior) and the judgments processed by these discourses (interior) generate a spectrum of lack of identity. We don't know what we want, and we see the world from the perspective of inherited fear, consequently we replicate codes of conduct that are alien to us, and we lose our sense of identity.

In conclusion, the Toltecs invite us to use the word well: it creates, builds and defines what surrounds us. The good use of words frees us from prejudice, allows us to relate in a healthy way, and leads us to the truth. So, to make good use of words, we need to realize our deeper judgments (judgments inherited from fear) and think about our differences with people and then have the notion of empathy. In the words of the Toltecs, it is to become a mirror for others to see themselves as one and reinforce the meaning of the “other”.

Translation Jeff Costa